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  <h1 class="h11">外篇 卷四十三 弭讼</h1>
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<div class="articleContent" id="articleContent"> <p>姑子刘君士由之论曰：“人纲始於夫妇，判合拟乎二仪。是故大婚之礼，古人所重，将合二姓之好，以承祖宗之基。主人拜迎於门，听命於庙，玄纁贽币，亲御授绥，婿有三年之丧，致命女氏，女氏许诺而不敢改。大丧既没，请命於婿，婿有辞焉，然後乃嫁。所以崇敬让也。岂有先讼後婿之谓乎？</p><p>而末世轻慢，伤化败俗，举不修义，许而弗与，讼阋秽辱，烦塞官曹。今可使诸争婚者，未及同牢，皆听义绝，而倍还酒礼，归其币帛。其尝已再离者，一倍裨娉。其三绝者，再倍裨娉。如此，离者不生讼心，贪吝者无利重受，乃王治要术，不易之永法也。”</p><p>抱朴子答曰：“刘君悯德让之凌替，疾民争之损化，虽速我讼，室家不足，用和之贵，将遂沦胥。创谠言以拾世遗，建嘉谋以拯流遁，纷哗之俗，将以此而易，无耻之风，将由此而移。弥纶情伪，固难间矣。诚经国之永法，至益之笃论也。</p><p>洪以不敏，不识至理，造次承问，窃有疑焉。夫婚媾之结，义无逼迫，彼则简择而求，此则可意乃许，轻诺後悔，罪在女氏，食言弃信，与夺任情，严防峻制，未之能弭。今猥恣之，唯责裨娉倍贫者所惮也，丰於财者，则适其愿矣。後所许者，或能富殖，助其裨娉，必所甘心。然则先家拱默，不得有言，原情论之，能无怨叹乎？</p><p>夫不伏之人，视死犹归，血刃之祸，於是将起。今苟惜其辞讼之小丑，而构其难忍之大恨，所谓爱其僦览之烦，忘其凋殒之酷也。夫买物於市者，或加价而夺之，则鲜忍而不忿然矣，况乎见夺待告之妻哉！此法遂用者，将使结婚者，虽纳敬亲迎，犹抱有见夺之虑。何者？刘君之论，以同牢为断，固也。</p><p>尔则女氏虽受币积年，恒挟在意之威，恃可数夺，必惰於择婿，婿小不得意，便得改悔，结雠带祸，莫此之甚矣。曩人画法，虑关终始，杜渐防萌，思之良精，而不关恣夺之路，断以报板之制者，殆有决乎？</p><p>傥令女有国色，倾城绝伦，而值豪右权臣之徒，目玩冶容，心忘礼度，资累千金，情无所吝。十倍还娉，犹所不惮，况但一乎？华氏不难於杀孔父而取其妻，楚人为子迎妇，以其美而自纳之。以此论之，岂惜倾竭居产以助女氏还前家之直哉！小人轻薄，睚眦成怨，又喜委衰逐盛，蹋冷趋热，此法之行，则必多夺贫贱而与富贵者矣。不审吾君，何方以防弊乎！</p><p>或曰：可使女氏受娉无丰约，皆以即日报板，後皆使时人署姓名於别板，必十人已上，必备远行及死亡。又令女之父兄若伯叔，答婿家书，必手书一纸，若有变悔而证据明者，女氏父母兄弟，皆加刑罪。如此，庶於无讼者乎！</p> </div>
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